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  • Melody Ruth

Transforming Grief - Press Release

Updated: Jul 5, 2020

Transforming Grief Through the Elements will be available in online bookstores in early May 2018. Transforming Grief Through the Elements is a book designed to share information about both the grieving process as well as provide helpful information about how to work through grief emotions thus allowing the reader to later embrace life more fully. The following is a summary describing how the book became to be.

In November 2016, my parents died, both quite suddenly and within only a few days of each other. It was a shocking experience that changed my life and my perspective on it forever. Four months later, a very close friend had a heart attack and was gone within a week’s time. Five months after losing my friend, my cat died. Death is one of the few things that cause sudden changes in your perspective.

As my airplane landed in Atlanta on the morning of November 15th, I received the phone call that my mother had passed. She had no major medical conditions, except for a really bad cold or flu bug. It was shocking and sudden. My brother and partner arrived to aid my father, and I remained helpless in the Atlanta airport, trying to get turned around.

My father refused to believe that mom had passed. I guess after forty-eight years together and his belief that he would go first, combined with dementia, his brain just couldn’t digest the fact.

He was heavily sedated by the time I arrived at his bedside in the hospital. The doctors sedated him even more because he tried to get out of bed to hug me. Nobody in the family had any say over his treatment or care. On November 16th, I met with a social worker at the hospital who advised me that I had to get legal guardianship of him in order to take charge. I asked for help from her to find an assisted living facility that would accept a man with dementia who had occasional violent outbursts. I believe this behavior is not at all uncommon for dementia patients.

I made the earliest possible appointment with an attorney for the afternoon of November 18th and proceeded with my brother to make arrangements for our mother’s funeral in addition to visiting with dad.

I spoke with the nurse on the evening of November 17th. She told me that she knew we were anxious to get dad out of the hospital and that as soon as he would agree to eat we could take him home. I asked again for them to decrease the sedatives. He could not eat in a state of sleep. I told her that I would be back in the morning to feed him food from my kitchen and to please make sure that he was awake and alert when I arrived.

However, early in the morning of November 18th, my father went into respiratory arrest. At the time he stopped breathing, there were four different types of sedatives (contraindicating dementia) in his system that had an overlapping peak of effectiveness as well as an IV antibiotic that was entirely unnecessary but was very contraindicated for someone who had experienced a heart attack (which he had had twenty years before). Prior to his admittance to the hospital, there had been nothing wrong with his health that would have otherwise caused death. As a matter of fact, he had just recently completed a full work-up by doctors to ensure that he would be strong enough to have a hip replacement surgery he had been in the process of scheduling.

On November 20th, we had a funeral for both of them. It was the hardest day of my life. Both of their deaths were sudden. Nothing made sense. The grief was overwhelming. A hundred or more people came to support me and my family in the loss of our parents. The day was a blur, and the entire community was shocked.

Fast forward to April 2017. I had made some major life changes, one of which was making time for myself. I needed the space to try to make sense out of what had happened. I had been going to the beach each weekend, listening to the waves crashing on the shore, thinking (or trying not to), and crying when I felt the need. During the first few months I had been going, I had been sunbathing only. I had not gone in the water. On one particular day, during an attempted state of meditation, I heard a voice: “You need to get in the water,” it said. It was not decidedly male or female, yet it was seemingly familiar. Surprisingly, it took a lot of effort to obey.

To the water, I went. I stood ankle-deep at first. “Get in, get in,” said the voice. “It’s spiritual cleansing for you.” I moved step by step into deeper water until I was swimming. “I hear you!” I shouted, laughing for the first time in a while, feeling a lessening of the heaviness of the grief I was carrying. There was a shifting, a softening, if only slightly. I swam on and on.

As I tried out and headed back to shore, I paused and stood to look out to sea with only my head above water. I heard a noise akin to a cassette tape on fast forward and suddenly knew all of the content of this book. It was as though I had received a download. I headed for shore and wrote down an outline as fast as I could. I was afraid I would forget it, but I did not. Throughout the next year, I wrote the information out in great detail, while putting it to work for myself, connecting with each element (Earth, Air, Fire, and Water) to support me through the grieving and healing process. This information became the book Transforming Grief Through the Elements. I learned that each element has its own individual beneficial aspects. By connecting with each element, one can utilize the energy it contains to enhance its positive aspects of ourselves. I wrote it down in order to share it with everyone who wishes to receive Mother Nature's great healing powers in times of grief and trauma.

The four elements—Earth, Air, Fire, and Water—are a part of the foundation of our earthbound existence. They provide a direct connection to the source of our creation. Their healing powers are infinite. In this book, the reader will learn how to use the elements to obtain information about their own self-reflection, strengths, and healing needs. To learn more about or get a copy of Transforming Grief Through the Elements please visit

To join our grief support group please visit:

Though it is not part of the book, it is a part of the journey. Florida Medical Rights Association is where the majority of the proceeds are going. If you buy the book, you will find a bit more information about Florida Medical Rights Association in the Afterwords. The law we are moving to change is Statute 768.21, section 8, which has been dubbed "Florida's Free Kill Law." The very law that contributed to the death of my father. More information on this can be found also be found on www.FloridaMedicalRights.Org

#grief #griefhealing #wrongfuldeath #transformation #spiritninja #book #author #fmra #freekill

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